“I think you’re going to grow up to be a star like Madonna,” said my grandmother when I was four.
“Haha, your face looks like a potato,” my classmate told me on the second day of kindergarten.
“Are you stupid, or do you just not care?” asked my middle school math teacher.
“This is the best writing I have ever read on the internet,” left by user3499bolin on Wattpad.
“You have handwriting made of bean sprouts, and it makes it very difficult to read your paper,” my high school homeroom teacher commented.
“How are you so good at this?” asked a new friend I met in college when they saw my painting.
“I am sorry, but I think you are being weird right now,” said my new teammate.
“You are the best roommate I have ever had,” said my roommate (who had previously been threatened at gunpoint by a former roommate).
“This is the worst sex I have ever had,” said a heterosexual cis guy on a Tuesday.
“Oh my God, you are such a green flag,” the owner of the art gallery told me with a smile.
“You are going to hell, and we all are,” said a random homeless person on the subway.
“I honestly think you are going insane,” said an ex I had to break up with because they cheated on me.
“I would not use the word insane, but there is a bit of a downward spiral here,” said my licensed therapist.
“We need strong people like you on our team,” said the hiring manager.
“I think you are not being yourself these days,” said the firing manager.
“Thank you so much, God bless you,” said an old lady in her 80s when I helped her carry a full cart up the subway stairs.
“I will protect you with all my power,” said my mentor.
“You will meet another person who will protect you the same way I used to,” said my mentor on her deathbed.
“Your hair smells so good,” said a lesbian from Astoria.
“Woof, woof,” the big dog next door barked aggressively at me when I showed up to my friend’s birthday party.
“I just want you to be happy, and I am so proud of you,” said my first love.
“You have been spending $243 more than you deposit every month,” said my banking app.
“No matter what, you are my favorite piece of shit, and you always will be,” said my mom.
