SUBMIT TO US!

We accept submissions below for weekly publication on a rolling basis. Please use the following form to submit your piece. Note that all submissions are due by midnight on the Tuesday they were written (to preserve freshness)! So, if you think you caught a fish during SWHH, take a moment to gut it and send it in using the form below.

All submissions must be made as a readable, publicly accessible Google Doc. Submissions are reviewed weekly by our three-person Editorial Coven, which reserves the right to accept or reject any submissions based entirely on their own obscure, whimsical tastes and biases. The editorial board is not able to give feedback on rejected works.

Selected works are published under Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution. If selected, please be prepared to supply an author photo and a brief bio to go along with publication.

We are sorry that we cannot pay for publication!

PLEASE NOTE THAT WE DO NOT PUBLISH ANYTHING WRITTEN OUTSIDE OF SILENT WRITING HAPPY HOUR!

Explore More Writing from SWHH

Recipe for Romantic Disaster

The one ingredient that all disasters seem to agree on—the proverbial roux in the gumbo—is an inequality of romantic intent.

Pharmaceutical Topography

Let me tell you about dependency. Not the vulgar physical kind—track marks, tremors, the bodily revolt—but something more insidious. A psychological topology where every interaction is mediated through this small, mathematically perfect oval.

It Begins

Before you, in the tree that was at your back, there sits a snowy owl. You stop and stand there, looking at each other, two sets of eyes, yellow and brown. Two animals in the dark. Then he blinks, turns his head, and takes to the air. You stay there for a moment. You wonder what color your daughter’s eyes will be.

Yankee Slut

Surely, he must have been good in bed. He must have been SPECTACULAR, really, if I was so willing to haul ass up to Yonkers to sleep with him. You would be mistaken.

The Fifth

Did you ever stand in the Military Expenditures room of the United Nations headquarters and see the minute-to-minute report of weapons expenses around the world?

Bad Men

For their crimes against language, he charged them four times the amount.